On day 4 of whale watching, there's a surprise on our boat. It's Mia, a Kiwi, and the mother of seventeen-month-old Lucy. She and her husband trade off days on the boat, so someone is always on shore with Lucy.
Day 4 is a whale of a disappointing search. We spot two whales, but they are always 400 meters or more away. After a few hours of deep focus looking for whales, we relax into an occasional conversation --all the while, still searching the sea. For there is nothing more disappointing than looking the wrong way when someone on the other side of the boat yells "Whale breaching at 7:00 o'clock." You look up as quick as you can only to see a splash.
Still looking for whales, we take an interest in each others' lives. I learn Mia's skills and interests. Where she lives in New Zealand. Is she really a true Kiwi? No, she was born in England. Lived in Australia, but expects to live out her life as a Kiwi citizen.
Mia wants to know where I'm from.
"Utah."
And her eyes light up. "Do you know the Secret Lives of Mormon Women?"
How can I not, though I admit I could only stomach about five minutes of an episode where the women with not-so-secret lives are attending a baby shower and squabbling over who was invited and who was not.
Vacuous.
I share my opinion which includes that this American brand of reality TV is insulting and misrepresentative to American women everywhere.
Last spring, I attended Women's Conference with over 15,000 women in attendance. It is an uplifting two day affair that represents the true lives of Mormon women. One of the speakers, Sheri Dew, a beloved Mormon woman who has been CEO of several influential companies, a woman who served in the Relief Society general presidency, chimed in on the "secret" lives of Mormon women.
She said,
"As covenant keeping Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) women, the truth about us seems to be in short supply these days." The audience laughs, "You know where I'm going with this, don't you." The audience laughs louder. "There isn't anything all that secret--about most of our lives." Grand pause for more laughter. "Which is why most of us wouldn't make very compelling reality TV. But maybe you've noticed there isn't much reality in reality TV. And just because Hollywood seems fixated on portraying millions of us, millions of smart, talented, accomplished, devoted, chaste, LDS women, as women who are secretly petty, promiscuous, and preoccupied with flaunting their covenant breaking doesn't mean any of it is true. We just happen to be the latest group that Hollywood is mocking and abusing for money."
I think about Sheri Dew's wisdom and word crafting. I wish I could send Mia the talk, but our time is short, our relationship is based on a short boat conversation and saying hello to adorable Lucy.
But I ask Mia, "Do you have anything comparable in New Zealand?"
No, and she laughs at such a ridiculous possibility.
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