A Laugh

 I was invited to join an alumni reading group. 

The first read was Don Quixote, and because I learned of the book club later than its beginning, and Don Quixote was 900 pages, I didn't finish. I only had a weekend and two days to read and reasonably absorb 900 pages of small print. I wasn't going to show up unprepared--these were my former students and I couldn't have looked them in the eye if I hadn't read the assignment.

But fortunately, I had a prior obligation, so I bowed out gracefully--and started early on the next book--This time it was Leo Tolstoy's novella Resurrection.

I love the exhilaration and strangeness of Russian novels. Dostoevsky's The Brother's Karamazov is one of my  most memorable reads. I read it in the latter 1990s, after the Soviet Union dissolved. But having lived through the Cold War, I didn't know Russia was once a religiously devoted country. It was an awakening as to the passionate devotion of the Russian writers. The chapter "The Grand Inquisitor" is one of the best stories ever written about Jesus Christ. 

Both Tolstoy and Dostoevsky gave the church a run for its money. Tolstoy was excommunicated in the early 1900s, but he was zealous in his faith and the true teachings and executions of Christ's teachings. Neither author could tolerate what they saw as misinterpretations. Their fiery faith is the backbone of Tolstoy's Resurrection and Dostoevsky's The Brother's Karamazov.

I had the blessing of teaching challenging students; now I have the blessing of being taught and challenged by former students. 

My first evening surpassed expectations. The camaraderie returned, but no longer as teacher-student, but as readers and seekers of beauty and truth.

I loved our Socratic discussion. I loved hearing their analysis. But my favorite part was hearing them laugh. I was surrounded by three people who always were quick to laugh. And they hadn't changed.

Few things top a genuine laugh. It is the moment when the heart splits open. When it is vulnerable. A sincere laugh is gold. It is the ultimate communication. A hearty laugh is memorable. 

Memorize the laugh of the people you love.

Call upon that laugh as you would call upon a muse. Listen to a laugh as you would listen to a prayer.

Most importantly, laugh at yourself. It's instant forgiveness and humility. It's instant self-acceptance. It's an equalizer. 

A laugh is a beautiful now, a beautiful yesterday.