I have read up to page 111 of Rick Rubin's The Creative Act: A Way of Being. I have enjoyed the easy, lazy-river read. The book is full of good stuff but I had yet found anything exceptionally profound, until I came to the chapter on "Listening."
Communication moves in two directions, even when one person speaks and another listens silently.
When the listener is totally present, the speaker often communicates differently. Most people aren't used to being fully heard, and it can be jarring for them.
Sometimes we block the flow of information being offered and compromise true listening. Our critical mind may kick in, taking note of what we agree with and what we don't or what we like and dislike. We may look for reasons to distrust the speaker or make them wrong.
Formulating an opinion is not listening. Neither is preparing a response, or defending our position or attacking another's. To listen impatiently is to hear nothing at all.
Listening is suspending disbelief.
We are openly receiving. Paying attention with no preconceived ideas. The only goal is to fully and clearly understand what is being transmitted, remaining totally present with what's being expressed--and allowing it to be what it is.
Anything less is a disservice to the speaker, but also to yourself. While creating and defending a story in your own head, you miss information that might alter or evolve your current thoughts.
If we can go beyond our reflexive response, we may find there is something more beneath that resonates with us or helps our understanding. The new information might reinforce an idea, slightly alter it, or completely reverse it.
Listening without prejudice is how we grow and learn as people. More often than not, there are no right answers, just different perspectives. The more perspectives we can learn to see, the greater our understanding becomes. Our filter can begin to more accurately approach what truly is, rather than a narrow sliver interpreted through our bias.
ARE YOU LISTENING?
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