It was quite a surprise when a dear friend's husband passed us on a steep downward trail on his mountain bike. He stopped to talk, and I told him how happy I was to see him. I didn't mention how surprised I was because why remind him of his trials.
But his trails had been huge. Surgery, debilitating pain, and here he was! Living large!
Perhaps he was just having a great day. Perhaps he had partially recovered but most of all, I hoped he had fully recovered.
As the friend of his wife, she'd received comfort from our circle of friends. We promised to pray for him. We shared her loss and life adjustments. We prayed for her. We asked for updates. Perhaps she was as surprised as I was to see him ride away on his bike.
It reminded me that we don't share our good news as often as we should, but there is a reason why. Tragedies of health or other circumstances never resolve nicely and in one definitive moment. Rarely can a person call or text her friends and say The trial is over! Thanks for helping me through. Phew, what a rough patch that was.
Once, during a family trial, I depended on my friends to help me through. And how they helped! Their compassion, their listening, their love sustained me through quicksand. Their ropes, tied around my waist pulled me to safety.
Now that the imminence of the trial has passed, I don't give them updates either. The crisis has passed, but its effects linger. When I see my close friends, they ask. Will there ever be a definitive moment when the trial comes riding down a trail on a mountain bike?
Even that was deceptive.
Problems rarely resolve completely. A knight in shining armor only arrives in fairy tales.
And so it is proven, when I followup after seeing her husband on a mountain bike, when I share the joy of seeing him, I ask for an update. She reports that he has good days and bad. Pain is his shadow.
Good news following bad always has a yield sign.
If I hadn't known of my friend's husband's trials, seeing him on the trail, I would have assumed he was the same old athletic, sports loving guy, cruising the trails. His momentary endeavor couldn't have revealed what he's endured. Which brings to light the most important point of seeing our friend: You never know what a person is going through.
Suspend judgement, be kind, and be assured everyone carries a burden--unless they don't have shoulders.
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