A student and I were running down the hall together. I don't remember the rush, but I do remember a whiff of pride when I said, "Junior, I can keep up with you!"
He gave me a quizzical look then ran like a seventeen year old boy. I was left behind in a whirl of dust.
When Tony's knees don't hurt, I can barely keep up with him. I will always lose to him at arm wrestling. If we are lifting weights, I will always lift less. He is physically stronger. He is male. I am female.
There is comfort in knowing this. I can wait for him to move a box or carry the salt bags down to the pool.
We are protected (at least for now) from being drafted into war. We are protected in the work environment from the amount we can lift.
Sometimes this difference in strength is unfair or irritating. But this is the human blueprint and it's worked (except when women and other men have suffered at the hands and bodies of stronger, evil men), for thousands of years.
There is rarely an exception.
But there are exceptions. Physical gender anomalies are rare, but real. It happened to a cousin's daughter. Yes, that is what they chose, a daughter.
We resist deviations from the blueprint that has worked so well. Humankind is perpetuated because of distinct reproduction roles. And when the choices are muddled, we still want them to be simple. We want to side with the female Italian boxer who was boxing against a gender-questioned female. It isn't fair, and it isn't fair. For both.
Disorders in sexual development or DSD, helps us to understand that anomalies are rare but still normal. In a person with DSD, hormonal levels may vary. A female may be 70% according to her testosterone and 100 % according to her genitalia.
Beginning in the 1960s women track and field athletes were often forced to prove their female-ness by exposing themselves to female judges. It was humiliating, but the governing bodies of the IOC and other athletic organizations, made it a requirement. And yet, how lucky some of the women felt to be competing, for even in the 1960s, females were banned from many athletic endeavors. The first time women competed in the olympics was in 1928, and because the 800 meter race was too demanding, they eliminated the race for women.
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The grandchildren and I are at the park. Bea has to use the toilet--twice. Public park bathrooms...ugh. The second time I take her, she is steps ahead of me, and she opens the door to the men's toilet.
"Bea, no. Keep going to the women's bathroom."
For us, the difference is clear; for this I am thankful. This gratitude increases compassion for others when it isn't clear.
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