visceral: deep. a visceral conviction. 2.: not intellectual: instinctive, unreasoning.
The little three year old was almost on his way to preschool before havoc reigned. He wanted to kiss his little sister goodbye on the back of the head. This was paramount in what he needed to do before he left. His mother, not seeing him, picked the baby up to take her for a nap. I was sitting on the ground with Eva so, as they say, I had a birds-eye view to the unfolding event.
Full of love and affection and wanting to seal it with a kiss, when his intention was thwarted, he had a visceral reaction. He lashed out and struck his seven-week old sister on the side of the head.
His mother saw it.
Her reaction was visceral. She burst into tears. "Why did you hit her?"
Little Leo burst into tears too. I don't think he fully understood why he'd lashed out either.
Then Dad asked me if he'd done it intentionally or if it were an accident. There was no doubt. I had to rat out my little precious grandson.
Crying mother whisked the crying baby off to her room. Dad whisked the little guy off to preschool. I was left alone to see that the mini catastrophe was the perfect representation of good versus evil. For no one is sweeter than the little guy. No one is more full of love for his baby sister, and yet, no one had less impulse control than he had in that moment.
My reaction was visceral. I felt compassion for all four of them, and the world which lives and dies by visceral feelings and actions.
It was clear how this was the way of the world--the lesson we all needed to learn and the sorrow we need to feel when people do harm to one another. I mourned for my mother when her children don't treat one another well. I mourned for myself when my daughters aren't patient with one another. I mourned for the Israelis and the entire Middle East after centuries of trying to destroy one another.
I mourned for Heavenly Father whose plan of salvation allowed for this because the lesson would be greater than the damage from suffering. The atonement, made by his humble son, the Savior of the world would lessen all the harm we could ever do to one another. The sorrow which we would feel viscerally would help us to become compassionate, complete, and prepare us for eternal life and a visceral hatred for all that was cruel and sad--and a determination to do all that was good.
Forever.
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