"Stay close to people who feel like sunlight."
@yogainspiration
Foremost, I ask myself, do I feel like sunlight to my family?
I want to be their sunlight.
However, it's tricky. Does their feeling my sunlight require a continual sunny disposition? Or do they deserve honesty, transparency and what-it-is. Though the sun never halts in its shine, we on earth only see its half-time shine; in winter it's even less. Then we must account for clouds. Clouds are real in weather and life. Depending on whether you live in Nevada or on the Alaskan coast, you will have sunshine almost everyday or will see the sun only 44 days out of 365.
How do I become sunlight?
The sun is always there. It may be on the other side of the earth and it may be hidden behind a cumulonimbus mass, but the sun is set in its place. It rotates on its axis, it revolves around the Milky Way Galaxy. If it were to jiggle even slightly out of place, the consequences would be catastrophic.
There is security in permanence. I have been permanent. Always Mom. Always partner. I have left on vacation, missed their phone calls; we have differed in opinions. I may have confused them emotionally through bad moods, distraction, or selfishness, but I have been a permanent fixture. When I was rejected by a teenager, I rejected her back--I had a lot to learn too.
Maybe that is what becoming sunlight is--learning alongside my family members. Shattering but picking up the shattered pieces. Interlocking them back together. Reconstructing old patterns.
When I feel sunlight, I bask. I bask in hearing thank-you from a student. Thank-you from Tony. A grandchild especially, and even better when she isn't reminded to say thank-you. Sunlight is warmest in sincere appreciation.
I feel sunlight when we see eye to eye. Not in agreement but when someone meets me with their eyes. When they look me in the eyes. The eyes are the first vision. The second vision is the heart, and sunlight pierces the heart. It's comes through kind words and actions.
Sunlight is felt through interest. My value is magnified when I am asked a question. Even when the question comes from a stranger. When the question comes from a loved one, from a student, from a child-- trust is the steam engine. What do you think I should do? In that question alone is sunlight and in a sincere answer--always. Sunlight is warmest through trust. Can people trust me? In the simple and sincere question, How are you doing? That is how I will be sunlight to my family.
Sunlight's capacities are incalculable. The sun's reach is incalculable. Yet not unreachable. As far away as it gets, it still warms and lights.
Be sunlight, even to myself. Especially to myself.
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