Waking up this morning, I smile;
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live each moment fully
And to look at all beings with eyes of compassion. Buddhist gatha found in Peace in Every Breath, by Thich Nhat Hanh
This isolation on day one had the opposite effect of what I expected. Unable to intsa-connect to my daughters by phone or to think of them and instantly send a text with an instant reply, made me anxious. I started to imagine the worst: death, injury and my inability to help, because I didn’t even know of their suffering. In my mind’s eye, I was hastily packing, waiting for the water taxi, scrambling for a flight.
It’s no way to vacation.
At home, while reading and studying, when I come upon a piece of history I don’t know, I move quickly to google.com and fill in the blank easily. Yesterday, I came upon the Whiskey Rebellion during George Washington’s presidency. My mind started to stand up, walk to the computer, to type in the words. But internet isn’t available in this palapa on this empty beach.
When I came upon words I didn’t understand I had the same urge for immediate identification. Without this, I studied the context and the root of the word. I had to think.
Instant knowledge can be instant forgetting. When I finally learn about the Whiskey Rebellion, I will retain what it is. Having to think about the meaning of coalesce,I should recognize it next time I greet it on the page.
Not wanting to spend my vacation anxious for communication with my children and craving instant internet knowledge, I had to make a change.
Not wanting to change my external circumstances, I had to make a change within. It began with a heartfelt prayer before I went to sleep.
This morning I awoke with the Buddhist gatha on my mind. I smiled and thought about the 24 hours before me. I would start the day with yoga, with an ocean swim, with a hunk of papaya sprinkled with lime; writing of course; a kayak ride to Chimo for lunch. I would need to study, finish a book, start another. Swim again and enjoy Tony’s company.
I started to fret that there were only 24 hours in this day. How could I fit everything in on this beautiful day in a palapa on a deserted beach?
I will keep making changeswithin. There is no insta-cure. My way of life has led me to believe everything can be instant.
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