The back hillside is a tough place to introduce trees. We tried fruit trees, but they were hammered by sun and deer. The west summer sun is intense and life sucking, so it was a leap and possible poor choice to plant a mature tree.
The tree was getting water, I was sure, but why was it drying up? Maybe it needed more water. I filed the hose through the fence and sent it as far down the hill as it would go. I carried a five gallon bucket, turned the water on low, filled the bucket, trudged downward, water sloshing as I slid. Hard work.
As I poured the water at the base of the tree, it disappeared. Up the hill again, down the hill with the heavy five gallon bucket.
After twenty five gallons of water, the ground finally started to saturate. The next day, the leaves were perky and green. My poor tree needed water; my neglect, my lack of proper assessment would have killed another tree. I needed to be more diligent in order to help my tree become deep rooted. Only then would it have the strength to survive the coming years.
People, especially children, find strength, when they are deep rooted or when they understand their family story. We understand our family story by hearing stories of our parents, our grandparents and other relatives. When we stay connected or rooted to family, we feel a kind of power.
I find strength in my grandfather who came to America with $20 in his pocket. I find strength in my mother who put cardboard in her worn out shoes. When my grandmother's husband was killed in a car accident, she carried on with seven children. My paternal grandmother stayed silent for days while crossing the seas to America. It was during WW I and they feared detection from submarines.
My father had an attorney who struggled through law school--but every night when he wanted to give up on his studies, he thought of his mother, on her hands and knees scrubbing the great marble floors of a bank in New York City, so he could go to college. When he turned to his roots, he had the strength to keep studying.
Tell your children family stories; tell your own story--don't be afraid of hiding the truth, of mistaking that only bravery and perfection will do. Roots are strengthened from the truth of weakness and our resilience that took time and failure to develop. Share triumphs and failures. My most heartfelt moments with children and grandchildren have been when I have responded to their hurt or disappointment with, "Well, one time.....I did this.... or made this mistake....or.... foolish thing....which often was the best thing to help me develop the deep roots I need to become a better person.