What the title really means is I've let that proverbial ten pounds creep up again.
So, I make a new plan. Again.
1. Mindful eating. There are a multitude of wonderful people who make videos, who ask you to join their mindful eating challenge, who really care that you break through the unconscious eating that allows those ten pounds to creep back on
My first meal of mindful eating--I couldn't believe how distracted and mind-wandering I was.
2. Learning to trust myself. Easter weekend was family, love, fun, and
Close to midnight, I was still awake because my stomach was too full.
On Monday, I listened to Oprah Winfrey retell a Brene Brown story about trust. Ms. Brown's daughter's school teacher kept a jar of marbles. When the class did something good, she popped in a marble. When the class was disobedient, she took a marble out. The goal was to fill the marble jar, and then the teacher would reward the class with a party!! Ms. Brown's daughter was having trouble with her friends and Ms. Brown used the marble jar to illustrate trust. When friends are kind and dependable, they mentally earn a marble in our trust jar. If a friend violates the trust, we mentally remove a marble.
Oprah suggests that the person we need to trust the most is ourselves.
I have a tender epiphany. By overindulging on Sunday (and the other days that have allowed ten pounds to creep up), I have broken my own trust. The most important person to trust is myself, and I've let myself down.
I need a marble jar.
I find one. I find some white, pearly marbles.
Even though I'm a middle aged woman, I'm thankful I can still treat myself like a kid.
And learn to trust myself again.
After a day of making great food choices, the next morning, I smile and pop a marble in the jar.
I'm only eight and a half points ahead.
~~Last night's birthday party included two pieces of delectable chocolate cake with salted caramel frosting. The day before Kristi made a chocolate cake with 1.5 pounds of dark chocolate, 12 eggs, sugar, and butter equal to the weight of the moon. Each bite was a dream come true. If she hadn't served only one piece, I could have eaten two.
I pull two marbles out of the jar. Not so easy come, not so easy to see it go, but today is a new day. Consciousness is the beginning of change. Always.