I'm so sorry I missed your father's funeral,...I was out of town celebrating my mom's birthday. It's a year long event--with good reason: she's almost 80.
Mom's always had a loose attitude about specific dates and we often spend the entire month celebrating birthdays. Her December 21st actual birthday usually starts on December 1st. I once received a present six months before the official day.
Since this is a seminal year, Mom decided back in January it would be a year-long celebration. The kick-off started in New York in April. September we'll gather with all the daughters and granddaughters. November brings the whole family together, and December--the plans are just beginning. In between, I'm sure I'll head down for a weekend or two for a birthday surprise.
When I lost my father, suddenly Mom became "losable" too. We understand based on experience, and until I'd had the experience of parent death, it was un-imaginable. No longer, no need to imagine. I know. My friend understands now too. She writes back:
How wonderful that you are celebrating with your mom! That is just as it should be. Our fleeting time with loved ones (especially parents) is so precious.
Only one of the reasons to celebrate life and the loved.